Yogurt…. Not that I really want it….. but i need a delivery system for my trail mix.
I tried everything. Until I settled on Dannon vanilla.
Then I burned out on that, and discovered Valhalla, the exquisite elixir known as Dannon coffee yogurt.
It’s a cult. Like the Moonies. Either you’re a member or you can’t understand. It’s like no yogurt you’ve ever eaten before. There’s no fruit, no stirring, just a concoction that’s akin to ice cream, but is much better for you.
But now there’s only one market where it’s available. And it’s nowhere near my house. And I’m wasting time driving there only to discover the shelves have been picked clean, by other addicts.
And I’m thinking about going cold turkey. But I still need a mixer for my nuts.
Which led me to the fad of the day, GREEK yogurt. Have you tried this stuff? It’s got double the protein, but has the consistency of paste. And the best brands come with a little jelly next door, in a separate compartment, which you must reach in and mix yourself. I tried it, I don’t like it.
So hunting for Dannon coffee yogurt in the one place that I used to get it and hadn’t checked yet, I found they no longer carried it either but they had Dannon Oikos, the company’s Greek model, I decided to try it, I mean I need something.
I opened it up… and there is LIKE nothing there.
It’s like going to Crater Lake and finding a puddle. Like lifting the cover of your swimming pool and discovering it’s only half full. Talk about a buzzkill.
And this doesn’t seem possible. I start scouring the container, looking for an indicator of its contents.
I turn it round and round until I discover there’s 5.3 ounces of yogurt.
5.3?? I remember when it used to be 8! I could handle the reduction to 6, well not really, but what comes next, a container with an eyedropper’s worth?
I mean I get it.
Dannon is putting all this advertising behind Activia. And they’re paying the supermarkets to shelve it. So they decide independently, with no research, to clear out coffee, and then they reduce the contents but not the size of the container figuring you won’t notice.