THEN and NOW

THEN
People had car trouble.
NOW
If someone tells you they’re not coming because their car won’t start, you don’t believe them.
THEN
Your computer crashed, you feared the Blue Screen Of Death.
NOW
Your computer goes months without ever crashing, and you barely turn it on anyway, only for work, because you’re addicted to your tablet and smartphone.
THEN
Our best acts were on weekly TV, on “Ed Sullivan” and “In Concert.”
NOW
Our worst acts are on TV, on “American Idol,” “The Voice” and “X Factor.”
THEN
Game shows were during the day.
NOW
Talent contests are at night.
THEN
Republicans were about personal freedom.
NOW
Republicans want to tell you how to live your life.
THEN
Democrats were about erecting a Great Society.
NOW
Democrats are pussies who are afraid of alienating their donors.
THEN
If you screwed up in school, your parents chewed you out.
NOW
If you screw up in school, your parents chew out the administration.
THEN
You went to college to learn.
NOW
You go to college to earn.

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