A Better Place

It’s like going to school.

Back in the olden days, when everybody went to public school, except for the privileged few who prepped and the Catholics with their parallel education system, we were all in it together. Nobody had better shoes, nobody flew to Europe for the weekend, we lived in an egalitarian society, everybody was equal.

Those days are through.

But if everybody was forced to take Southwest Airlines, if there were no private jets and no first class, America would become a better place.

It’s such a different vibe. From the people who check you in to the colloquial flight attendants, everybody seems to like their job and to be having fun. Makes me proud to be an American.

Once upon a time Southwest Airlines only flew in the Southwest and was cheaper than its competitors. Now, Southwest can cost top buck. But you still get two bags free, and peanuts and crackers. Hell, they’re not worried about allergies on Southwest. Yup, you few with your peanut phobias made it so the rest of us could never eat nuts at 30,000 feet ever again. That’s modern America. Wherein one person gets to spoil it for everybody. One person gets hurt on the playground? They remove the monkey bars. One person writes a letter to the television network? They cancel the show. That’s what ruined network TV, the lack of edge, which exists on cable. Because the network producers are too afraid to piss anybody off.

And at Southwest someone realized if you print your boarding pass at home, they don’t need to reprint it when you check in. I’ve never figured that out. Why do I need to replace my paper with yours? Why do you need to put it in a little blue jacket? Furthermore, why do I need my ticket once I’m on board? Yup, when you check in at the gate, get on the plane, the attendant takes your boarding pass and never gives it back!


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