Boomer Cars

Kids Do not Care about Cars. We have BOOMER CARS

carYou mean I need a bigger engine and a swoopy style to get laid? I just go on Tinder!

Welcome to the baby boomer nightmare, wherein everything they’ve held near and dear becomes irrelevant. Like automobiles.

Cars are a utility.

It’s not the seventies anymore, no one ever bows out of an affair citing car trouble. I’ve got a AAA membership, but I only use it to get tires changed in seedy areas, the concept of a tow because my carburetor is clogged is about as foreign as the blue screen of death. (And new cars come with run-flat tires!)

Yes, remember how you used to need to know how computers worked to use one? Same deal with cars. Everybody had a modicum of expertise, having experienced flaws and shoddy maintenance. But today you just turn ’em on and they go, you don’t have to even take your key out of your pocket. Sure, you might smash your automobile up, but Google’s developing an app for that, otherwise known as the driverless car.

Joy in driving? Taking a few weeks or months to drive cross- country? Why would anybody want to do THAT! Why do we have Boomer Cars?

Yup, the road trip is as dead as the western. You could recast “Bonanza” and no one under forty would watch.

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